The overwhelmed parent’s guide to taking a break (from someone still learning)

Every evening I have the same plan. Once my daughter is asleep, I will sit down on the sofa and finally have a moment for myself.

It almost never happens. She falls asleep quite late these days, and by then I am so exhausted that I go straight to bed.

When I am with her, I am fully with her. She doesn’t let me focus on anything else, so there is no “I’ll just quickly do this while she plays”. Which means everything else has to fit into the hours when she is not with me: work, preparing lunch and dinner, the laundry, the shopping, the house. Either I am with my daughter, or I am racing through the to-do list. There is not much in between.

If you are reading this and nodding, this post is for you.

Doing it far from family

Like so many of us in Luxembourg, I moved here from somewhere else. There is no grandma around the corner to take the kids for an afternoon.

I am raising my daughter mostly on my own, so I feel this very strongly. But I want to be clear: this is hard for every parent, single or not. And it is not only about little children. Every age brings its own kind of tired.

Why making time for yourself is not selfish

I believe this, even though I am still learning to practise it.

If we are not healthy and balanced, we cannot give our best to our children. When I am running on empty, I have less patience and less energy to play. When I have had even a little time for myself, I come back calmer, more patient, and much more fun.

Looking after yourself is not taking something away from your children. It is part of looking after them.

I am not an expert at this. But this year I took two small steps, and I want to share them with you, because they made a real difference.

Step one: a gym that feels like a community

This year I started going to the gym regularly, and I found a really nice community at Mollitiam 1839 in Contern.

Mollitiam is an independent hybrid fitness gym focused on functional training. The heart of it is coached one-hour classes in small groups, with constantly varied functional movements. Their own motto is “Move better. Get stronger.”

If that sounds intense, don’t worry: it is not as hard as you might think. They adapt everything to every level, from complete beginners to experienced athletes. The coaches really come to you, focus on you, and correct you so you do every movement properly. You never feel lost or left behind.

What I love most is the community. People know your name, and everyone greets each other when they walk in. It is such a simple thing, but it makes a big difference. You leave feeling part of something. For me, it is the place where I let go of all the stress I collect during the day. I walk in carrying the whole week on my shoulders, and I walk out lighter.

And it is not only for us parents: there are classes for kids too! Mollitiam runs kids classes on Thursday afternoons, one for children aged 5 to 8 at 15:00 and one for ages 9 to 14 at 16:00. My daughter is not old enough yet, but as soon as she turns 5, I am bringing her along. I love the idea of her growing up seeing sport as something fun we do together, not a chore.

Open day this Saturday, 7 November! Mollitiam opens its doors from 9:30 to 15:30 at 5b, rue de l’Étang in Contern. Entry is free, and you can try short taster sessions of the different classes throughout the day. There is even a parents and children workout at 13:30, so you can bring the kids along. Signing up on their open day page is optional.

It would also be a lovely chance for us to meet and get to know each other in person.

If you have been curious, this is the perfect moment to try it. If you would like to come with me, send me a message on Kannerlux Instagram or email [email protected]. I am happy to take you there.

Step two: a massage that gives you energy back

The second thing I did for myself this year was booking regular massages.

I found a wonderful place here in Luxembourg called Equilibrium Massage Luxembourg. It is a small studio that grew mostly by word of mouth, and now I am passing the word on to you.

This is not the muscular, Swedish-style massage you might be picturing. The lady who does the massage works from the principles of traditional Chinese medicine, and the massage is about energy and balance rather than only sore muscles. She doesn’t need you to explain much. She can feel where you are, and she knows what your body needs that day. So the massage is never the same twice: each time it follows how I feel and what kind of week I have had.

Even if you are sceptical, come and try it. I think you will be surprised how refreshed you feel. I leave with more energy than I arrived with, and that energy lasts.

They work with packs of 10 sessions. At first that felt like a big commitment, but I am so glad I invested in it. Having already paid gives me that little push to actually go, instead of cancelling because “there is no time”. And every single time, I am happy I went.

Equilibrium is at 9 Rue Jean Pierre Sauvage in Luxembourg City. You can book a consultation through their contact page, by phone or WhatsApp on +352 661 458 720, or by email at [email protected]. They speak English, French and German.

Start small

You don’t need a whole new routine. You need one thing that is just for you.

• A class once a week. Sport, dance, yoga, a choir. Something with a fixed time is much harder to skip.
• A booked appointment. A massage, a haircut, a coffee with a friend. Put it in the calendar like a doctor’s appointment.
• Swap with another parent. You take their kids for a Saturday morning, they take yours the next week.
• Fifteen minutes in the evening. A walk, a book, a bath. No phone, no laundry.
• Ask for help. It is not a weakness. Most people are happy to say yes.

It might feel strange at first, maybe even a little guilty. That is okay. Do it anyway.

Invest in yourself, it comes back

I am still learning. Some weeks I manage both the gym and the massage, and some weeks I manage neither. But I have stopped seeing this time as something I take away from my daughter. It is something I give back to her, in the form of a calmer, happier mum.

So this is my little push to you: find your one thing, and book it this week.

And if you want to come to the open day on Saturday, message me on Instagram or at [email protected]. I would love to see you there.

These are not paid partnerships. I just want you to know about them.

On our Services page, I have collected services that could help parents in some way. Have a look and let me know what you think. And don’t hesitate to add a service that helped you and that you want to share with others, or, if you are a service provider and think you could help parents, add yours too.